Spooky Hallway But No Ghosts Tonight ~

I am an insomniac and have been for years. I find all kinds of things to entertain myself although I still try to get to sleep at some semblance of pre-dawn. This night I could NOT manage even that and so was up strolling around the house with the camera. {it seemed reasonable rather than lay in bed or do the dishes} I thought I would try and capture some orbs. Orbs are spirits or ghosts, if you believe in that sort of thing {blame coasttocoastAM radio show for this little bit of weirdness}. I always capture orbs, almost to the point of not wanting to take pictures in certain places because I don't want to know. This night was not one of those nights and I thought I would see if anyone was hanging out in the corners. As you can see, there really aren't many corners up high to hide in the hallway as the ceiling is a barrel ceiling so that would leave just the corners of the walls. I did not see one this night however I will confide something to you. I didn't look at what I had until the next day when the sun was bright and shining and everyone was awake! I do think this picture really is just a little bit spooky so of course I had to share it on my blog! Usually it would be my Wordless Wednesday post but I thought a little explanation was in order.... I didn't want you to wonder if I had lost my mind!! :)

Crazy Art ~

My brain disconnected

so here is a painting done sometime past.

Fitting I thought.

Again.

It is Mental Illness done in acceptable

"Yes, I see you are feeling better. Welcome. I'm glad you left her home."

And it is Mental Illness done in

"you're not being nice or polite or politically correct, in fact, you are not even dressed in the right clothes and you forgot your shoes and that too."

Depression

it's lovely tendency to color everything like itself

despite a muse of color

Selfish, always indifferent to the mind of a complacent comfortable

painter.

It is personality disorder ~ person disorder.

No matter the technicality of Name.

A personality disordered is not a thing too easily grabbed.

So don't try.

It is much easier to see this way.

In art.

In color.

In second or third person.

However

this painting is called

"You"

A Sunday Stroll With Baby BlueBird~

This little baby bluebird must have gotten lost the other day because we found him sitting quietly on the ground looking around until he decided his mother was calling him! :) My roses are still hanging on, thanks to a cool early summer, excepting 3 days of temperatures in the high 90's-low 100's. I am not missing the heat one bit and especially love having roses this late into the summer! {needing a bit more spray for fungal lovelies but a small price to pay...}

Grus an Auchen~I have no idea if the spelling is correct on this one and it may be Rose Uetersen instead but no matter, it's pretty and has a wonderful fragrance.

Gourmet Popcorn, a BIG mini.

Gold Medal, floribunda

Eglantyne, an Austin rose

Golden Celebrations, an Austin rose

Sparrieshoop, an old climber

Charles Aznavour, floribunda

Charlotte, an Austin rose

New Dawn, a big climber with little flowers that fade fast to white. If I had known that, another one would have gone in instead!

Tamara, an Austin rose

{click the title of this post to see who else is strolling this fine day}

And over one more set of hills,
along the sea,
the last roses have opened their factories of sweetness
and are giving it back to the world.
~Mary Oliver

Painting In It's Final Form~

This painting didn't want to be anything in particular, after all that you and I thought it should be. Paintings can be like that and so, rather than argue, I am amiable to changing my mind. There are many layers in this painting now and it is about done. I think it looks great with a wide white mat around it. I adore acrylic for the intensity and versatility. This was done on 300lb. rough watercolor paper, so it really could stand up to the layers. The roughness of the paper is also an interesting counterpoint but I doubt you can see that.

I have been quiet and for that I do apologize. Unfortunately pain continues to play havoc in my ability to sit and so my activities seem to involve either laying or standing much of the time, neither a position good for typing. My neurosurgeon ~ yes, I actually "have" a neurosurgeon ~ feels there is nothing to be done for my back as far as surgery is concerned, at the present time, unless I have numbness, etc., and for that, I am thankful. He wants me to have a series of epidurals, of which I have had so many, I can't remember the number, but none THIS year. Cortisone makes me crazy, quite literally, so I chose to put them off for the time being. The effect is minimal anyway. 

So I am on a new path, now that I know I can move and not cause permanent paralysis! I am starting a new exercise program as well as physical therapy, as this has caused problems that it might help. And it might help the pain over time. So we will see...throwing paint is my favorite therapy!

I have decided to begin posting my art in a less "available" way. I had noticed in my stats that my art was being downloaded as well as the whole site being "ripped" off by something called rippers. They swoop in from places like China and apparently have nothing better to do nor an original thought in their heads. So I needed to post the art in a smaller pixel. I thought I would post details of the piece in a higher ratio, to make it easier to see while not exposing the entire piece to piracy.  I don't particularly like to do this but hate the idea of my art being ripped off by some idiot! I also have a new camera, well, dear husband~GWH~ has a new camera, and I can set it to take different resolutions of my work. I don't think it is really that noticeable unless you put them side by side. BUT you can't make a print out of this size and have it look good! {sticking tongue out at brainless idiots with nothing better to do than steal people's words and art, hoping they can read English or hit the translate button so they can enjoy my words in their own language!}

The artist is a receptacle for emotions that come from all over the place; from the sky, from the earth, from a scrap of paper, from a passing shape, from a spider's web.

~Pablo Picasso

~Taming the Dragon~

Taming the Dragon 

1995

I painted this dragon, my first and one of many I have done since, in about 1995. I was experiencing a difficult ~ no, "impossible" better defines it ~ passage in both therapy and life, which was mostly therapy. In hindsight, my shrink's advice to have no contact with my parents for, what eventually became 6 years, was genius. But it was a difficult time, a time in which I poured my pain and fury into my art. This painting was made by literally throwing paint at the paper until the image emerged. I was not "trying" to paint a dragon but when he appeared, I embraced his powerful persona and made him as big and bold as I felt I needed ~ he was my protector during a painful and lonely journey. He became my psyche during this time of slow growth and searing pain and alienation. 

I am expecting to paint another one this year, as I seem to have one pop into my life almost every year, in one form or another....I know I did one(he's here), that now belongs to my grandson, but he doesn't count as I was being "nice" ~ I want to paint one when I am not being anything other than who I am. Nice doesn't fill that role very well, to be perfectly honest!!

"Life obliges me to do something, so I paint." 

Rene Magritte

22x30 watercolor on 140 pound arches cold press

How To Come Out and Play Again ~

~where to go from here~

I apologize to everyone who reads this blog...really I do. I have been in retreat for a short time, sorting out my options, dealing with the fall~out that inevitably comes from having medical issues with ambiguous methods of therapy, with several different doctors voicing their opinions.  I was considering how to post again, what to say and actually felt trepidation about it, something I have never felt when posting to my blog. Even when posting my art, as messed up as it may seem to me at the time, I have not felt discomfort. It seemed overnight, I was at a loss for words, what to say, how to say it, insecurities, thoughts of "why bother", walking away from my blog and all my lovely readers, some of whom I feel quite close to.  I wouldn't even open my computer most days.

Yes, it's extreme, I know it is~~~was. 

But that said, here I am. I was going to post "something" today, not having any idea what, just to DO IT. Then I read today's Daily Om, that little gadget over there on the right in my sidebar. It's a great site and many days has a message that will hold meaning to some part of my life. Today it was about coming out of hiding!!! Wonders upon wonders, perhaps it's time, as the Universe, in all Her Glory, has deemed it so! I have clipped a bit of it for your reading pleasure and also for those of you who also might be doing a bit of hiding.... come out and play! We miss you! 

How To Come Out of Hiding

Isolation

There are times in our lives when withdrawing from our social obligations and taking some time to be alone is necessary to rejuvenate our energy and renew our connection to ourselves. However, there are also times when withdrawal is a red flag, indicating an underlying sense of depression or some other problem. We may not even have consciously decided to isolate ourselves but wake up one day to find that we have been spending most of our time alone. Perhaps it’s been a long time since friends who used to call have given up. Without anyone inviting us out, we sink deeper into alienation. 

The longer our isolation lasts, the harder it becomes to reach out to people. It is as if we have failed to exercise a particular muscle, and now it is so weak we don’t know how to use it. Yet, in order to return to a healthy, balanced state of being, that’s exactly what we need to do. 

Slow Food ~ The Art of Simple Food

I have an excuse for these impersonal posts without much mention of that painting I asked you to tell me about. I took an antibiotic with suspicions of Lyme disease looming over my head {I won't bore you!} and in so doing contracted a particularly vicious form of colitis {again, no boredom on this blog!}. So, while I lay here catatonic and dehydrated, I am posting these semi-posts I already have in draft... I thought I would post them "sometime" so... 

I cancelled my uber expensive PT appointment for my back, so I did save some cash and must be on the Enlightenment Express now, thanks Susan!  And things have not gotten worse in that department and I haven't even meditated, YAY! I think we all just have to read Susan's blog, PhantsyThat.

I appreciate your participation in my painting experiment and promise you I have considered all of them. I had seen a horse, something no one saw but that's why I asked! So I continue to ponder, separated by my painting by this stupid illness with it's energy zapping dehydration, while it's up in the studio. As soon as energy allows, I will add more paint and we will see what becomes of him/her/it! :) 

In the meantime, I give you this piece on Alice Waters. I admire her and what she has done for food here in the Bay Area and beyond over the years. Her new book is divine as is this blueberry pie recipe. I have condensed the recipe from the book because of space but the essentials  like blueberries are there! 

Happy eating! 

                              

             

 

"Eat Locally and sustainably

Eat seasonally

Shop at farmers' markets

Plant a garden

Conserve, compost and recycle

Cook simply, engaging all your senses

Cook together

Eat together

Remember ~ food is precious"

Alice Waters ~

 The Art of Simple Food


~blueberry pie~

enough pie or tart dough for two crust pie

roll out bottom crust to fit 9" pie pan and refrigerate that and top crust

preheat oven to 400 degrees 

in a medium bowl, stir together:

6 cups blueberries

3/4c sugar

4T quick-cooking tapioca, pulverized{processor is fine}

2t lemon zest

1T lemon juice

1/4t salt

let stand for 10 minutes then pour into pie shell

cut 2T unsalted butter into small pieces and sprinkle over pie filling

cover pie with top crust

brush a beaten egg over crust {and sprinkle with sugar, if desired}*

cut 4 steam vents in top of pie

bake at 400 degrees for 15 minutes, 

reduce heat to 350, bake until pie is golden and 

thick juices are bubbling through vents, about 45 more minutes

let cool before cutting

~you can substitute~

 other berries or combinations of berries

or

 3 pounds of apples, peeled, cored and half inch slices tossed with 1/4-1/2c sugar, depending upon sweetness of apples {1/4 cinnamon may be added}

*that's what I would do :)

"good cooking is no mystery"

alice waters

Wordless Wednesday ~ Haiku From Spring Into Summer

outside 

a

 back

 door

shining

 green

 fades

 to

 purple

sunlight

 colors

 all

A Day of an 8AM Doctor Appointment for Acupuncture and IV's, a Trip to the Art Store, a Closed Nursery and the Hardware Store for Orchid Food & TESTS!

Yes, it was a boring day as far as a scintillating blog post goes so I give you these A+ test results for your enjoyment ~ yes, I had them waiting for just this most perfect moment! You might want to take one or two or even three! If you comment on mine, I will comment on yours, promise! After my treatment I am feeling better and now looking forward to a new physical therapist on Friday! Wow, it gets better and better and he does a mean cranial-sacral massage, Ghandi-esque doctor tells me... I guess he would know...or at least be able to convince gullible women like me....it's going to be a $500 week...sigh.....not counting the art supplies of acrylic medium, stay-wet palette, gold and silver leaf {remember that cow skull?} and a small bottle of purple fluid acrylic paint and the hardware store for orchid food and a Sunset book on Patios. Well, the patio idea is pretty exciting to ME but probably not to you. And wait til I share with you the 6 {!!!!!!} lipsticks I just had to have! {?????} I think there's an explanation but I haven't thought of it yet.....

Isn't that the perfect seque into this?

~*~

~You Are Totally Prissy ~

{I'm shocked and not responsible for the cheesy photos that go along with the tests!}

People should call you princess - that is, if they don't already.
You like everything "just so" ...and you don't mind complaining if you're not getting what you want.
You're freaked out by anything gross, dirty, or low class. You definitely need to be protected from the world.
And while people usually don't mind protecting you, you're prissy antics can get a bit annoying.

How Prissy Are You?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish ~ 

{who knew? you're kidding!}

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch.

Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes.

You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them.

You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You Are "Medium" Maintenance!!!!! 

{again~who knew??}

Like everyone else, you have some ? things you are particular about.

You're not too annoying about it ?, and you're able to go with the flow most of the time. !?

You've learned to stand your ground on what matters but also make compromises from time to time. ?

You have good taste. {well, yes} Too bad not everyone shares it. {this is certainly true!}

Are You High Maintenance?

{click to take 100's of tests!}

AND THEN, THIS!

I was floored by these results, trust me....

Can You See It?

22x30 acrylic on paper

Can you see him? 

I had gotten to the place where I was not sure where to next go with this and pondered leaving it as it was, especially given my stilted limitations. But I felt something calling me from within the swirling colors.....when this happens I stop and wait for it to start making more sense! Back on the easel it went after residing all over the house for several days. 

I had my back turned to it, looking at some crackle paste on a board that was also calling my name. {Yes, I really do have these dialogues with my work!} I turned back to it and then I saw him! 

Can you? 

I will give you a hint....it is a very abstract{or perhaps "representational"} image but it's there just waiting for a few self-assured {well, we can hope!!} strokes to break him free from his mire.  

So tell me ~ What do you see?